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The Night Before Christmas: the OTHER Version

(written by Leslie for all of us of a certain age - originally performed at Trinity's Wednesday Night Light - Christmas Talent Show)


'Twas the night before Christmas, and right here at church

Came a visitor on a “house of prayer” search.


He lived way up north, nowhere near our vicinity

But he said he kept hearing great things about Trinity!


We tried not to stare, but the man was a sight!

His suit was SO red! And his beard was SO white!


He did not wear a name tag, but we knew who this was

And seeing him here caused no end of a buzz:


“Did you hear?” “Have you seen?” “This is cool!” “Where’d he park?”

“Find the kids!” “Tell Dwight! And Sally! And Mark!”


“Where’s Dancer and Prancer and those cute little elfies?”

“Who knows! Step aside! I’m taking a selfie!”


“His eyes really twinkle!” “That smile!!” “I feel dizzy!”

“Wait a minute…. TONIGHT shouldn’t that man be busy??”


We watched him confer with our ministers three;

Deciding something…. and they seemed to agree…


We thought he was asking for total discretion,

‘til Mark called an immediate meeting of Session.


Their assemblage that night was remarkably quick

then we ALL welcomed new member Jolly Saint Nick!


“I’ll let you tell them,” Mark said, with a grin

So Santa explained to us what drew him in:


“I knew all of you when you were just tykes.

Asking for hula hoops, scooters and bikes,


Easy bake ovens, and wagons bright red

Chatty Cathy and Mr. Potato Head…


Some of you listened to cute Brenda Lee

Rockin’ around her Christmas tree


You played Spin the Bottle, Charades and Twister

[You wished you were a Lennon Sister!]


I watched you mature and grow very big hearts

and sure, some of you now have titanium parts…


You might now be ‘seniors’ or ‘older adults’

But you’re champions of change! And you get results!


Now I’ve worked through the ages, and I’ve done it all

And I gotta tell you, I chug Geritol….


…but YOU folks are nonstop! What GOOD you are doing!

How hard you’re all working! What goals you’re pursuing!


A church home for me was never declared.

But I’m blown away by the love that you’ve shared.


So thank you for rushing the forms and formality

I’m happy to join where there’s SO much vitality


Thank goodness, it seems that I meet the criterion

to now be a steadfast and true Presbyterian! (USA.)”


What a night, that 24th of December,

When Santa became a new Trinity member


And we heard him exclaim, as he flew towards the coast

“Merry Christmas to all, don’t forget to compost!”

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